The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city areas, sex is easily available, which in pop over to this site itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay males desire to discover out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry click over here risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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